I’m interested in the world. I don’t think there is any other one sentence to describe me. I am always looking to learn and understand this weird world that I exist in.
Learning is the backbone to human civilization and is the reason we are in the world that we exist in. Everything around you to the roof over your head to the device you’re reading this on - it was all learned. You, as a human, naturally learn how to adapt and survive. We’ve been doing this for thousands of years and everything around us is the accumulation of learned lessons throughout human history.
For the past two years, I’ve gone through some of the most traumatic years I’ve experienced as an adult. Making a major move halfway across the country will usually do that to you. I moved to Seattle from Texas in 2023 and have faced numerous challenges from friendships, career seeking, and handling all the mental baggage around it. As a result I lost my drive for creativity. I developed bad habits due to the depression and anxiety I experienced at some of my lowest points in life. Habits that would impend me from my creativity. My drive for my passions disappeared as I had my own mental stability to worry about.
This past week as I write this has been a massive learning lesson that has forced me to change (for the better). I needed to identify my bad habits, cut them, and replace them with something more productive, more creative and more fulfilling. Scrolling Twitter endlessly kept feeding me self induced anxiety while holding myself back from a creative outlet. Coming home from work and turn off my brain instead of stimulating a need to do something. It all fed into this self fulfilling prophecy fear of wasting away into someone who will be forgotten because I purposely decided that. But change doesn’t happen unless there is a push.
This push was me having anxiety about all of these negatives that were holding me back hit me all at once. Feeling like I’m not enough. I don’t have the ability to belong alongside my peers. That I’m going nowhere with my life. This imposter syndrome that impacted me in every aspect of my life. Well I’m done giving into it.
Jager Thoughts is my personal project to share my thoughts. To share what I’ve learned and apply it. If it’s my thoughts on politics like I did with my first post, or my thoughts on music, sports, or culture. As long as it interests me, I want to share it. I don’t want to sit on it only to let it fade into nonexistence. My partner’s favorite creative, David Lynch, once said something along the lines that forgetting an idea is a horrific tragedy. I have so many of these thoughts I have that I have let die because I didn’t write it down. I didn’t apply it to a medium. I didn’t apply myself. I allowed my anxiety to drive me instead of all of these ideas and it’s time to change that.
As a human, I want to learn a lesson from these experiences I went through. The first one being to apply myself and share my thoughts. Learn from the trauma, learn from what I’ve gone through and share it. Lessons from life, from history, from culture, from everywhere you can find it. I hope to teach those lessons that I learned to hopefully contribute to the society I live in. Teach others the great things about this world, good and bad. If I’m going to do all this learning, why waste it?
